My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i think im in europe. pls send help
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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