In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
