I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
