I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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