he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
