apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
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Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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