I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
