This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
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I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
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I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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