so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
