butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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