What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I need water and some morals
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
