Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
