Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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