Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
