Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize