Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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