WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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