He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
