Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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