Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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