well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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