Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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