The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
