I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
