Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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