i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
