White coat. Heels.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
