Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
