He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
