"it" just moved
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
