Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
