Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
