fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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