I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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