i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
