I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It was like getting head from an anaconda
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
