I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
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