he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize