I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
