We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
