I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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