Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
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Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
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Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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