Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
