I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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