btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
