Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
