How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
