bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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