Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
