i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
