Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just tell him i said nine months
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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