i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
