she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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