Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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