i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We are two peas in an std pod
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
