i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
