My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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