Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize