Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
