did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
