He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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