I want you more than these girls want KFC
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This baby is an asshole
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Drunk is not a location!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
