He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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