I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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